TIFU by teaching a class of thirty children while on acid

This happened a few years ago, but when you really think about it, WHAT IS TIME?

Anyway, I had just handed in a big assignment for my teacher training degree, it was a Friday, so I went out and had a nice time. The next day I hung out with friends and I was in a cocky mood. I had a small class workshop to give on the Monday, but I was getting the hang of this teaching lark and I wanted to let my hair down for a change.

My friends decided to take some LSD that night and, having done other drugs before, I thought it would make me feel a bit funny, have a giggle with my mates, go to sleep, and that’d be that. I took some (it turned out to be a lot). We were sitting around watching Sarah McLachlan music videos, and I remember that her eyes started to resonate with different colours, and I started laughing at how beautiful she was.

We then just hung out, the space of the room became gigantic, lying down made my sense of gravity make me feel like I was on a rollercoaster. Listening to people talk made your mind immerse in their sentence, their words altering your whole perception.

Suddenly it’s 4am, everyone had gone to sleep, and all had become dark, in more ways than one. I thought I could hear my friend crying and that the trees outside were hands clawing at the window. The core of my intelligence knew that this was all imaginary, and took a detached, intrigued stance on the whole thing.

Suddenly I’m standing in the classroom on Monday, centre stage, with my coursemates watching. The kids came bounding in, innocent, curious, complete. It was at this point that my intelligence core said to me “you’re about to teach a class of kids, and you’re on LSD.”

I kept rubbing my numb face and staring at the carpet pattern, which made me feel nice. I kept losing track of how many kids there were, I thought one of the kids had a copy of himself. The copy was just like him, but it would grin at me while getting out of his seat and causing minor mischief that no one else reacted to.

The lesson demonstrated that cardboard prisms of different geometries could hold different weights. I demonstrated that the cylindrical cardboard could hold the most weight, which seemed to make some of the kids trip out as much as me. The copy-kid walked over to a girl sitting several seats away. She was completely unaware of his presence as he held a knife up to her throat. In the middle of the lesson, I shouted “No!”

The kids were confused. But the copy-kid went back to his seat while maintaining eye contact with me the entire time. I knew this was a creation of my mind. The electrical signals were all fucked up from the acid and my brain was interpreting them as other things that really existed. A copy of a real kid in class… A copy of the yellow handled knife from my kitchen… It was all a hallucination.

Just before I resumed the lesson, the copy-kid laid the yellow knife on his desk and said “You should kill me now. If you don’t, you will regret it.”

Suddenly, I’m outside my apartment after school and the acid is starting to wear off. Somehow, I got through the lesson and I really needed to sleep. I slid the key in the door and pushed it open. I swear, the kid who had a copy was laying on the floor of my apartment. He was covered with his own blood.

This was before everyone had cell phones. I ran to the landline phone in the kitchen to call the police. After I hung up, the copy-kid was standing in my kitchen holding the knife. He was just grinning that stupid smile while covered in the other kids’ blood.

I was still a little high, so time moved weird. He said, “I told you that you should have killed me in the classroom.” I went to grab him and we ran through the apartment in slow motion to the body laying in my living room. There was a loud series of knocks at my door. POUND! POUND! POUND! Like hell was opening up and pouring into my shitty little apartment through the tiny doorway.

The copy-kid stood over the body grinning. The pounding at the door boomed loud and frantic. I ran to him and he handed me the knife, “Here – take this. You will need it.” POUND! POUND! I took the knife as the door burst into splinters and the police came in.

And there I was – still tripping on acid and standing over the body of the boy with a knife in my hand. The copy kid was nowhere to be found.

I served twenty years in prison for murder. The fact that I was intoxicated by a hallucinogenic substance mitigated my sentence.

Original Reddit Story by acidteacher



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